


The Carrier

by IvanW



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Crossover, Illness, Implied/Referenced Torture, M/M, Mirror Crossover, Multi, Romance, Sexual Content, contagion
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-23
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-02-28 16:35:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 12,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23270317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IvanW/pseuds/IvanW
Summary: When a mission goes wrong, James T. Kirk is not the same
Relationships: James T. Kirk/Mirror Spock, James T. Kirk/Spock, Mirror James T. Kirk/Mirror Spock, Mirror James T. Kirk/Spock Prime, Mirror Spock/Mirror James T. Kirk/Spock Prime
Comments: 261
Kudos: 251





	1. Starfleet Universe

Spock rushed down the corridor, adrenaline making him breathless, his heart beating a staccato in his side as he legs pumped so fast, he was nearly airborne.

But as he rounded the corner, he was greeted by Nyota, who held up both hands.

“Spock, wait! You can’t—”

He brushed past her and straight into the medbay. He stopped, frozen in his tracks as he watched McCoy standing at the glass, dressed in a gown, gloves and protective gear.

“Doctor.” 

“Forget it, Spock. Medical staff only.”

“But…”

“We don’t know what he has or how contagious he is. Especially to Vulcans.” McCoy paused. “Considering what happened on New Vulcan when they came into contact with him. We can’t take any chances. And he doesn’t want you to.”

Spock stepped up to the glass, too reminded of glass that separated him and Jim before. But this…this was not that Jim. Not that…

Kirk smiled slightly behind the glass that separated them. The scar that slashed across his cheek just under his right eye was stark in his too pale face.

“Commander Spock.”

“Captain Kirk.”

Other than the scar, he looked so much like Jim, his Jim, that it was nearly impossible to believe that this man, this Kirk, wasn’t. Whatever this Kirk came to their universe with it did not _seem_ to effect humans.

Still they could take no chances and he was kept in this chamber, away from Spock, and what remaining Vulcans there were now, and others on the Enterprise.

Kirk was not at all happy about it. But he didn’t put up much fight either.

“My Captain…”

“I don’t know where he is, sorry.”

“In your universe…”

“It’s possible, yeah. I mean, here I am. I don’t know how I got here. Or why the Vulcans here…I’m sorry, Spock. I just don’t know. I’m as in the dark about all of this as you are.”

Spock glanced at McCoy who had come to stand beside him.

“Did you come with some kind of bioweapon?”

Kirk’s mouth curved into a not quite smile. “No, Bones.”

McCoy flinched. “I don’t know how I feel about this guy calling me Bones.”

“I’m James Kirk,” Kirk insisted.

“But not the one from here,” McCoy snapped. “And I’m not convinced you don’t know what happened to Jim.”

Kirk sighed. Stepped back from the glass. “I don’t want to be here. Do you think I like this? I didn’t want those Vulcans to get anything. Spock…”

“Are we…” Spock stopped, looked at McCoy, then back at Kirk. “What is the nature of our relationship where you come from? I am concerned for my captain.”

Kirk shrugged. “I don’t think Spock will hurt him. We were…intimate. What happened here to the Vulcans, that’s not how it is there.”

“Anything could be different with Jim going there though,” McCoy spoke up. “He won’t know what to expect anymore than you did when you came here. Supposedly accidentally.”

Nurse Chapel drew McCoy away then, leaving only Spock facing this Kirk from the other side of the glass.

Spock supposed because McCoy had walked away that Kirk felt better about stepping close to the glass once more. He searched the other’s gaze, deep, beautiful blue.

“You look so sad,” Kirk said. “Does he mean so much to you?”

Spock hesitated. “I do not think our relationship is your concern.”

That slightly twisted smile. “No? I think maybe it is.”

“This reminds me of a time when we were separated by glass, he and I.”

“What happened then?”

Spock shook his head. “Radiation from the warp core.”

Kirk’s eyes widened slightly. “And he survived that?”

“No. He did not.”

“Then…”

“I cannot say how, but he was brought back.”

Kirk snorted and the rolled his eyes. “Cannot or will not?”

“It’s classified.”

“Of course it is.”

Spock looked at Kirk’s scar. “And that scar. How did you acquire it?”

“Someone tried to take out my eye. They missed.” He shrugged. “I have lots of scars.”

“And who tried to take out your eye?”

“Maybe it’s classified,” Kirk said mockingly.

Spock felt Nyota come to stand with him a moment before her hand touched his arm. Her gaze was on Kirk though.

Kirk tilted his head at her. “You look different.”

“How do I look where you come from?”

“Your hair is short for one. And your earrings are shrunken heads.”

Nyota recoiled when Kirk laughed. “Spock, you should leave him alone. He’s not Jim.”

“I am aware,” Spock said, softly. “Give me a moment.”

Kirk’s blue eyes turned glacial as he watched her walk away.

“You do not like her in your universe?”

“She is efficient.” He shrugged again. “But you slept with her here, in this universe. Didn’t you?”

“That was a long time ago. We are only friends now.”

“Friends,” Kirk repeated faintly.

“You have no friends?”

“Only those who don’t qualify as enemies.”

“And is Spock an enemy or one who does not qualify?”

“Still worried about your captain?”

Spock didn’t respond. Just waited.

Kirk sighed. “We are intimate, as I told you.”

“That is not the same.”

“No, I suppose it is not. But I don’t think Spock is who your captain will need to worry about.”

Spock glanced toward where Nyota waited then back to Kirk. “Who gave you that scar?”

“Spock did.” 


	2. Mirror Universe

“This is crazy.”

Jim wasn’t sure who he said it to, himself or the austere looking Vulcan glaring at him from across the room. His…cell.

Because though it looked a bit like the small quarters given to a junior officer on a starship, with a one person bunk and a tiny but efficient bathroom, he was not allowed to leave.

“I don’t know what’s going on but…”

“Silence,” the Vulcan commanded.

Jim inwardly winced. Spock could be…harsh sometimes, unthinkingly, but there was never this bite behind his words, even when he was angry at Jim. This Vulcan, who had yet to even give Jim his name, well, he was pretty frightening to be honest.

He wore a uniform that was not at all a Federation uniform. It had strange symbols where the Starfleet insignia went, and the tunic was more of a jacket. This one was red, though, rather than Spock’s blue, and this Vulcan had a burn scar across his forehead.

“What is your name?” the Vulcan demanded.

“James Tiberius Kirk,” he said, again. It felt like he’d been saying it at least a hundred times.

“You look like Captain Kirk, but you are not him.”

The door opened then, and another Vulcan came in to speak to the other. They spoke in low tones, sometimes glancing in his direction every once in a while.

He’d been down on New Vulcan and then something strange had happened, he’d felt weird, like for a moment he was being transported somewhere, and then—

“I am Stonn.”

Jim blinked realizing the Vulcan who had just come into the room spoke to him. The one in the red had left.

“James Tiberius Kirk.”

“You _are_ human.”

He frowned. “Yes.”

“Yet, all that are human that come in contact with you become gravely ill,” Stonn said, musingly. “Fascinating.”

“I don’t know why.”

Stonn nodded. “You will be studied.”

“Studied? Now wait…”

“If you can be used against the Terrans—”

“Used? What?”

“We can possibly use you to take command of the Empire.” Stonn smiled as he fingered his chin. “Your arrival is fortuitous.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Don’t you, Captain? There was a strange anomaly when you arrived. Some sort of universe crossover is our best guess. Wherever you came from, likely the Captain Kirk we know went there.”

“I don’t make humans sick.”

“In your universe,” Stonn said. He shrugged.

He turned as the door opened once more. This time the Vulcan he had seen very briefly when he’d first arrived, the one who had looked just like Spock, but with a beard, entered. But he wore a special suit, protective gear, Jim assumed, as he must be half-human wherever this was too. Jim’s head was beginning to hurt.

Stonn left then and the other Vulcan in the protective suit approached him.

“Spock?”

“I am Spock, yes. But you are not my captain.”

“Uh. No. Um. Are you in Starfleet here?”

“There is no Starfleet. It is the Empire.”

“Empire. Is this the Enterprise?”

“Yes, I am acting captain of the ISS Enterprise.”

“That other guy, Stonn…”

“He is acting first officer.”

“What’s this about using me against Terrans?”

Spock shook his head. “Two of the three Terrans you came in contact with before you were isolated have died from whatever you passed on to them.”

“ _What_?”

“You are in a different universe. It would be illogical to assume that you would not bring pathogens with you that could harm others here.”

“Unknowingly!”

“Whether unknowingly or not. And I am not certain that is the case. It is…unusual that you would exchange places with my captain as you did.”

“Why would I come here and pass a pathogen as you say to Terrans as a Terran myself?”

“You are obviously a carrier of something that does not affect yourself. We have not yet determined whether you can infect me, given that I am not fully Vulcan. We are forced to perform more tests.”

“Experiments?” Jim asked, with dread.

“Perhaps. There is much to be known about you, James Kirk, and where you come from. But I am not unsympathetic to your plight.”

Jim grimaced. “And you? Your captain? What of him?”

“I am, admittedly, concerned for his welfare. You do not seem to be particularly barbaric, but neither are you forthcoming about your intentions or about your universe. And I do not know what your pathogens there can do to Terrans from here.”

Jim felt a little sick. This was a nightmare. “Are you…? And him?”

Spock’s eyebrow arched. “What are you asking me, Captain?”

“Never mind.”

“You ask about the nature of our relationship.”

He nodded.

“We are sexually involved.”

“I see.”

“And you?” Spock’s tone was mocking. “You and your Spock?”

“We are…were…about to be bonded.” 


	3. Starfleet Universe

He was cute, this one. Soft and clean-shaven.

Kirk could absolutely see the appeal.

And as this one stood outside his cage or decontamination cell, whatever they wanted to call it, those smooth creamy cheeks had the faint green blush dusting across them.

His Spock had never blushed in his damn life, Kirk figured. Probably wasn’t even capable of it. Had his Spock made someone else blush? Not that Kirk knew. But he hadn’t known Spock forever or anything. Just seemed like it.

This one…this Spock…looked quite fascinated to be face to face with Kirk, but he was pretending not to be. Kirk liked that.

The doctor, McCoy, had left them alone for the moment. But Kirk figured he’d be back to poke and prod him more.

And speaking of McCoy…it had been a number of years since he’d seen that scoundrel. They’d been friends once, Bones and him, but that was before he’d betrayed Kirk. Last he’d seen the McCoy he’d known, well, he was being hauled off to prison. Kirk wasn’t even sure the bastard was alive.

“Are you going to say something, Spock, or just stare?”

He caught the slightly repressed tightening of Spock’s thin shoulders. And man, they were thin. He was used to muscles.

“I am not sure what to say.”

“You have questions.” Kirk shrugged. “You want to know more about my scar?”

“Well…”

“You probably wouldn’t touch a hair on your captain’s precious head, huh?”

Spock angled his head a bit to the left.

Kirk smirked. “I’m right, aren’t I?”

“Not now, no, I would not.”

He found the caveat a little interesting. He took a few steps closer to the glass that separated them.

“Not now.”

Spock nodded. “There was a time.”

Kirk chuckled. “Aren’t we talking playtime? Like sex?”

The blush darkened so Kirk figured there was something there.

“I’m not averse to a little of that. Not the completely rough stuff, mind you.” His smile slipped. “I had enough of that.”

“I am sorry that you have been hurt,” Spock said, his voice softening.

Kirk ignored that softness. “What did you do to him then? Punch him during a fight?”

“There was some of that, but I…choked him.”

Kirk drew back, surprised. “Really?”

“It is not something I am proud of or would repeat, but…yes.”

“The circumstances?”

“I’d rather not say.”

“You are full of surprises, Spock.” He turned away from the glass where Spock stood, and paced in the small space he’d been given.

There was a bed and a little door to the right that provided access to a toilet and a sink but not much else. And it was all so very white and sterile.

“Why was the Spock from your universe trying to take out your eye?”

He smiled. “I’d rather not say.” He laughed at the affronted look on the Vulcan’s face. “Nah. I’m only kidding. I’ve got nothing to hide. At the time, we were enemies. He didn’t want to kill me, though, he just intended to maim me. He did.” He gestured to his scar. “Just not as he intended.”

“But you are not enemies now?” Spock asked doubtfully.

“He is my first officer.”

“Not entirely an answer.”

“So far, he has not betrayed me.” Kirk shrugged. “We are…close.”

Spock said nothing to that.

“And you and your captain? You are clearly not intending to choke him now. But on the other hand, you admitted to a relationship with Uhura.”

“Is it the same there?”

“Spock is with me there. What he did before, I don’t give a fuck. If she tried now…”

“My captain and I are…”

“Intimate?”

“Yes.”

“I figured. It’s kind of written all over your face. Not surprising considering it’s the same where I’m from.”

Spock shook his head. “I doubt that it is the same. Our relationship—”

“Oh. A _relationship_ is it?”

Spock stepped back then, away from the glass. “I am done being mocked for the moment, Captain. Enjoy your solitude.”

“Wait. What? You’re leaving me alone? Come on, Spock. Talk to me!”

But the smooth cheeked Vulcan had turned and walked away, disappearing through a door, leaving only red shirts there to glare balefully at him.

Kirk grimaced and turned away, flopping down on the bed and wondering what his Spock was doing with the other Kirk.


	4. Mirror Universe

Jim stared at the ceiling as he rested on the bunk in the cell they’d given him. He’d been left alone for hours, he guessed. The last one who’d been by to see him was the bearded Spock.

In a way, he was glad that no one was here to question him or worse. He didn’t like the way Stonn and the others looked at him as though he was some lab rat. But he was also bored and anxious. He was desperate to return to Spock and his universe.

How had this all gone so wrong? They’d been making a brief stop to New Vulcan to drop off some supplies needed. Spock was going to go see his father while they were there.

Just before he and Spock separated, Spock had asked him to bond.

_“Jim, I know we have not been involved for long, but there is no one else I want.”_

_“I don’t want anyone else either,” Jim said, breathlessly._

_They were in the transporter room, alone at the time. Spock’s hands were on his face and his were on Spock’s arms._

_“Then…will you bond with me? While here? There is an elder here who can perform the ceremony and I…”_

_“Yes. Yes, Spock.”_

And now that seemed forever ago, though surely it could have only been a few hours.

He missed Spock like a piece of him. He never expected to feel like that about anyone and it was weird. To be so reliant on someone else.

Just then he heard the outer door to his cell open. He turned his head to see that it was Spock. The Spock from here.

They’d put up a barrier now in front of the small room he’d been given. A force field between him and Spock, or whoever visited him. This time Spock didn’t wear a protective suit.

He’d changed into a gold captain’s shirt, Jim noted, though it didn’t resemble the one he wore at all. It was rather shiny, like satin, and had weird dagger symbols all over it. At his waist, Spock had a sash, and a wicked looking dagger strapped to his boot.

Spock approached the barrier between them as Jim sat up from the bed, stood and walked over.

“The third Terran you came in contact with has taken a turn for the worse and is not expected to survive.”

Jim swallowed hard. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Are you?”

“Why wouldn’t I be? Why would I want to infect others?”

Spock shrugged. “I do not know much about the universe you come from. You claim an innocence I cannot verify. Perhaps your universe, your species, is yet more brutal than this one?”

“Do you really believe that?”

“I do not have enough facts to form a hypothesis. You could have been sent here to take over the Empire.”

“I haven’t.”

“I have only your word. And as much as I am fond of my James Kirk, I am also aware he is quite untrustworthy.”

Jim considered this, nodded. He knew nothing about the Kirk from here, but he could only imagine based on what he’d seen from everyone else. “What happens now then?”

“There are those that wish to bring others of your kind in contact with you to see what happens.”

Eyes wide, he shook his head. “No. If I really do have something that’s infecting them, I don’t want…”

“I will not allow that,” Spock cut in.

“Thank you.”

“Yet. There may come a time when it will be required. But we do intend to take some of your blood to be studied.”

Jim winced. “I guess I won’t be given a choice.”

Spock’s lips ticked up. “Not much. In the meantime, after your blood is taken, we will see that you have food, and can be made as comfortable as possible under the circumstances.”

“The circumstances being that I’m your prisoner.”

“That is the unfortunate fact for you, yes. But no doubt my captain faces the same where you are from.”

“I don’t know. I doubt he’d be locked up behind this force field thing.”

Spock looked amused. “I do not believe our universes are that different, Captain.”

“Hmm. Still. I see you didn’t waste time replacing yours.” Jim indicated the uniform Spock wore.

“I do not know when or if we will get him back. Considering this, my superiors thought it best to replace him.”

“And if he returns, what then? Will he have to fight you to become captain again?”

Spock inclined his head. “Perhaps. He fought his way to this position in the first place. With my assistance.”

“So you don’t care about what happens to him?”

The Vulcan’s gaze narrowed. “What I do or do not care about it not your concern, Captain Kirk. Do not make the mistake of imagining because you look like him, you will be given special treatment.”

He stepped back and pressed a button. A moment later, an Andorian in a medical uniform stepped inside.

“Our doctor will take your blood now, Captain. I will see about your meal.” Spock stepped outside and the door closed behind him.

The Andorian doctor stepped up to the field, pushed in a code, and then stepped inside Jim’s cell. The force field reappeared, presumably so Jim couldn’t escape.

The smiled the doctor gave Jim was really quite unnerving. He pulled out a large needle.

“Now. This won’t hurt…much.” 


	5. Starfleet Universe

There was something a little frightening about this version of Leonard’s best friend, and it had nothing to do with whatever caused the Vulcans he came in contact with to become ill or worse. He’d never ever been afraid of James Kirk. He’d been afraid _for_ him, plenty.

But this…Kirk.

His eyes were the same color as Jim’s but they had a peculiar glint that was…disturbing. It wasn’t crazy or insanity but there was an unsettled look there that was almost scarier.

His gaze followed Leonard’s every move and though Leonard knew Kirk didn’t have a weapon, he found himself bracing for attack. This Kirk was cagey.

“Roll up your sleeve,” Leonard told him.

Kirk smirked and did so, holding out his arm for Leonard, who tried not to flinch at the terrible burn scars covering Kirk’s forearm.

“What…what happened?” he couldn’t stop himself from asking.

Kirk watched him, the blue in those eyes darkening. “Do you really want to know?”

“I’m not sure.” He took the blood as Kirk dropped his arm.

“You betrayed me.” The smirk widened. “Or the McCoy I knew.”

“Betrayed you?”

“We were friends. Of a sort anyway. Even friends with benefits a time or two.”

“Me and you?”

“Shocking I know.” Kirk was amused. But even when amused there was an edge to it. “Never anything serious. Just playful. And that was all before the Vulcan.”

“Spock?”

“There are other Vulcans. Other play things. Spock came along eventually, but not then. But we were friends. You and me.”

“You and him. I’m not him,” Leonard insisted. “Sit down on that bed there, so I can examine you.”

Kirk did so without argument.

“How…how did I…he betray you?”

“Turned me in to my greatest enemies,” Kirk said, softly. “I was brutally tortured for days. Suffered unimaginable pain.”

“That?” Leonard gestured.

“Yes. Scalding hot oil.”

“My God.”

Kirk shrugged. “I survived. And ended up wiser for my trouble.”

“How?”

“I’ve learned never to make friends or trust anyone. As for Bones, well…”

“Dead?” Leonard whispered hoarsely. It wasn’t him. It wasn’t.

“Imprisoned, definitely. I don’t know if he’s dead. But if he is alive, he probably wished otherwise.”

“You sound almost gleeful.” Leonard shook his head. “I suppose if he is responsible for that, I can’t blame you. But here I’m a healer. I would never.”

He stepped back.

“You’re definitely healthy. Looks like you’ve had a history of broken bones though.”

“Uh-huh.”

Leonard tried not to flinch. Though he was pretty sure this Kirk would stab him given the chance, he was still…well…he was Jim. A weird, frightening version, but still. He didn’t want to think what had caused the scars and injuries he’d found. Didn’t want to think what had twisted this Kirk even beyond what his Jim had been able to endure.

“It’s okay, Bones,” this Kirk said.

“Doesn’t seem that way,” he admitted. “Whatever you are there and the other me is, well, here, we’re friends, the best. And the thought of betraying you the way he’s done…it’s incomprehensible.”

Kirk nodded. “Then you’re lucky, Doc.”

“I’ll have to do some tests on your blood. See what’s causing you to make Vulcans sick. Just on examination, I can’t figure it out.”

“Okay, well, as I’ve said, I’m not trying to make anyone sick. Didn’t even know I was coming here until wham here I was.”

“Bet you don’t want to go back to where you came from.”

Kirk smiled, a genuine smile, mind you, not the sort of disturbing smirk, but yet it still wasn’t close to the smile Leonard was used to from Jim. There was still something terribly off about it.

“Oh, I could get used to this pampered universe for sure. And the pretty little Spock here. No beard, not nearly as savage. Sure, I could get used to it.”

“Yeah. Well. Don’t get any ideas.”

Kirk laughed then. Threw his head back and laughed. “This place isn’t for me, Bones. But I wouldn’t mind experiencing a few things here first.”

Leonard turned to leave the room, but then turned back.

“What’s on your mind, Doc?”

“Just…do you have any good memories? Happy ones?”

“Of you?”

“Of anything. Anything at all.”

Kirk shrugged. “I’ll think about it. Ask me again.”

“Something tells me if you have to think about it, the answer is probably not a good one.”

Kirk inclined his head. “Send Spock in here next time.”

“He can’t be exposed to you.”

“Can’t you inject me with something?”

“It doesn’t work that way. Have a good evening, Captain.”

Leonard left then, feeling immediate relief once he was out of the room. But he couldn’t help but be extremely worried for Jim. 


	6. Mirror Universe

Jim had experienced sadistic doctors and men before. He could withstand this Andorian doctor as well as any.

He ignored the wicked gleam in the doctor’s eye as he stuck the needle into Jim’s vein, not at all gently.

“Can’t look, eh? You won’t last long here.”

The doctor filled several vials of Jim’s blood and put them in a bag. Then he glared at Jim.

“Next up is a bit of an experiment.”

“Experiment?”

“Whatever you have or are, you don’t appear to negatively effect Vulcans or Andorians, but you do Terrans. I’m having one brought in here now so you can be exposed to him.”

Horrified, Jim shook his head. “No.”

He shrugged. “He’s being punished anyway. He disobeyed an order of Captain Spock. It’s either you or the booth. He’d probably rather take his chances with you.”

“I’d rather he didn’t.”

The doctor laughed. “As if you have a choice. We can and will do whatever we want with you, fool.” He walked over to a comm on the wall. “Bring in Markowitz.”

A moment later, a Vulcan brought in a clearly struggling human into the room, toward Jim’s cell.

“No. Stop it.”

“Shut up, false Kirk.”

“No, don’t!”

The Andorian turned to him with a smirk. “What will you do for me if I stop it? Hmm?”

“What?”

He put a long fingered hand on Jim’s jaw, digging his fingers into the flesh there, pulling him forward until the doctor was in his face.

“You want me to stop this? You want me to help you? I expect special favors. I do nothing without some kind of payment.”

“I…”

“Make up your mind fast or I’ll do what I want.”

Jim gasped as the fingers moved from his jaw down to his throat, digging in there, cutting off his air. 

“Kroykah!”

He was released instantly and the Andorian stepped back.

Spock had entered the room and was now storming toward Jim’s cell, his face dark with anger.

The cell barrier disappeared while Jim continued to gasp in lungful’s of air.

“You will not touch him!”

Spock picked up and threw the doctor across the cell and Jim heard a crack as he hit the wall.

He said over his shoulder to the Vulcan, Stonn, who had come in with him, “Take him out of here.”

Stonn moved forward and picked up the Andorian. “To the booth?”

“Yes.”

When Stonn and the other left, Spock turned to Jim.

“Were you injured?” Spock asked coldly.

Jim straightened up, hand going to his throat. “No. Not really.” He paused. “What is this booth you all talk of?”

“It is for discipline. Not something for you to worry about. I have brought your food. I will get it.”

Spock walked out of the cell, set the barrier and then went over by the door that led to the room. Jim saw that he had placed a tray of food there, which he now picked up, and brought back to Jim, after once more releasing the barrier to the cell.

Jim noticed it was a salad and fruit. He couldn’t help but think Bones would approve, and he almost smiled.

Spock was staring at him intently. “He left marks.”

“Yeah.”

“His punishment will be severe.”

“Don’t punish anyone severely on my behalf.”

“You misunderstand. I do not punish him for you, but because he marked what is mine.”

Jim took a step back. “I’m not yours.”

“Care to wager?” 


	7. Starfleet Universe

Kirk woke to the sound of the door on his cell being opened. Instantly alert, he sat up, and reached for his dagger.

But there was none.

_Shit_.

For a moment, he’d forgotten. They’d stripped him of any weapons with which to defend himself. He made out a shadowy hooded figure and he braced himself for the attack, ready to give as good as he got.

“I am unarmed.”

The lights came on at the softly spoken words. He blinked into the face of an older, gray-haired Vulcan wearing one of their traditional robes, this one with a head covering.

“What the hell?”

“I come in peace,” said the Vulcan.

“Swell,” Kirk replied. “But aren’t you worried I’m going to infect you with my cooties?”

“As a matter of fact, I am not. I am older and should your cooties infect me, I am prepared for the outcome.”

Kirk stared at him. For some reason there was something about this particular Vulcan that unsettled him. He took a step back.

“Wait. You’re that one, the one I saw when I first arrived on Vulcan.”

“New Vulcan.”

Kirk dismissed this impatiently. “Yeah, whatever. I thought you died.”

To his surprise, the Vulcan smiled slightly. “No. Obviously.”

“But we had contact.” Kirk paused. “Didn’t we?”

“We did. Which is why I thought it safe enough to come here. I am…Spock.”

“Bullshit.”

The Vulcan lowered his hood and nodded. “I have experienced that reaction before, but I assure you it is true.”

“I’ve already met Spock from here and you aren’t him.”

“Technically that is true. And it is not. But like you, I am not from this universe.”

“You’re from a mirror universe?” Kirk asked, doubtfully. “The Empire?”

“Certainly not. It is…complicated. Nevertheless, it is true and I am Spock just as you are James T. Kirk.”

“What do you want with me? Did they give you permission to come in here?” Kirk glanced toward the outer walls of the cell. He spotted no guards. “What happened to the dumb security guard who was over there?”

Spock shrugged. “He has been temporarily reassigned.”

“I noticed you didn’t answer my other questions.”

“I do not have permission from acting Captain Spock nor Doctor McCoy. I took it upon myself to come speak with you, as I am certain you have likely surmised.”

“Yeah.” Kirk began to pace. He hated being caged like this. “But I still don’t know why. Or why you’d take the chance with whatever about me affects Vulcans here.”

“As I said, we had exposure to each other earlier with no consequence—”

“That you know. Maybe because you’re half Human it works slower.”

“That is kind of you to show your concern for my welfare.”

Kirk snorted. “Don’t go too far, old man. You want to expose yourself to a potentially deadly pathogen, that’s up to you.”

Spock nodded. “Thank you. May I sit?”

Kirk gestured to one of the chairs that had been brought in. “Suit yourself.”

He lowered himself into the chair. “You should join me, Jim.”

“Oh, so, what? Are we buddies?”

“Sit,” Spock said more firmly.

For a moment, Kirk sullenly refused his cooperation, but the old Vulcan just continued to stare placidly at him, so with a grunt, he went and sat in the other chair, moving it slightly away from the Vulcan.

“There. That’s not so hard is it?”

“Depends. Anyway, I still don’t know why you are here.”

“I am here mostly in an effort to help you.”

“I don’t need your help. Or anyone’s,” Kirk maintained stubbornly. “I just need to get back to my own universe and kiss the ass of this one goodbye.”

“You do have a way with words.” Spock looked down at Kirk’s exposed arms. He’d been given other clothes to wear when he’d been brought here. Patient clothes, he guessed. Similar to scrubs or something.

“Looking at my scars?”

“Yes,” Spock admitted. “I imagine that was extremely painful.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Why were the scars not removed? Surely your universe has that capability.”

“Somewhat, though I’m not sure these would have entirely disappeared. And the underneath tissue and nerve damage was fixed. There’s a couple of reasons not to bother having the scars treated, though. One, they remind me you can never trust anyone no matter how sincere they pretend to be. And two, do you know what fresh, unblemished skin is, Spock? It’s a temptation. It’s an invitation to attack, to mar, to maim. Very few where I come from can escape living without scars. And those that do, don’t do for so long. And some ways of creating scars are beyond your imagining. So, no, I don’t want my scars fixed, erased, or even lessened.”

“That is…”

“Awful?”

“Frightening,” Spock said.

Kirk shrugged. “That is life.”

“Why would you wish to go back to that?”

“Because knowing anything else, knowing kindness, it’s a trap. It’s a lie that I cannot and will not afford to believe.”

“And if I were to offer you an alternative to that life? That reality? To offer you the chance to stay here, in this universe.”

Kirk scoffed. “And how would that even work? Does it have to be an even trade? Me for him? Him for me?”

“You see yourself that there are two Spocks here. It can be done. It has been done.”

“This is not my reality.”

“But it can be.”

“How?”

“I have not yet figured that out.”

Kirk threw his head back and laughed. “Yeah. Okay. Sure thing. Like goody-two-shoes Spock is going to go for that. Or McCoy. Or exactly _anyone_ from here. And there’s still the fact that I’ve got those cooties to Vulcans. So I see, sure, old man. Just easy peasy.”

“Nothing worth doing is easy.”

“Get lost.”

Kirk stood up and went back over to the bed, flinging himself down on it.

“See yourself out.”


	8. Mirror Universe

Jim hadn’t seen Spock for a while. Or much of anyone really. Mostly someone had come to take more blood. They never spoke and were never Human. Most just glared at him but some were malicious about stabbing him.

When the fourth one in one day came by, Jim turned surly and refused to give him arm.

“Whatever you’re trying to find, you have enough,” Jim insisted.

He was feeling a little woozy and frankly despondent at his predicament. He was no closer to being returned to his universe and wondered if he ever would be. The thought of them turning him into some weapon against other Humans made him physically ill and mentally anguished.

It was easy, he supposed, to become easily discouraged under these circumstances and he couldn’t help wondering what kind of life his counterpart had truly had here.

The Spock from here seemed to care for him, in his own way, so that gave Jim some hope for the other Kirk, but not a whole lot. Spock didn’t exactly appear to be trying to get his captain back and seemed entirely satisfied to be in command himself.

The Vulcan, Stonn, entered his enclosure at that moment, and Jim sat up from his prone position on the bed, warily waiting for what was next.

“You have been uncooperative.”

“You have enough of my blood.”

Stonn’s eyes narrowed. “Our researchers get to determine that, not you, Human.”

“Where is Spock?”

“He is busy and has no time for your distractions. I am sending someone in to take your blood as well as a urine sample.”

Jim turned mulish. “What for?”

Stonn arched a brow. “That is not your concern.”

“My bodily fluids are not my concern?”

Stonn sighed, low and deep, and with a lot of drama, Jim thought, for a Vulcan. “I can see that you are not used to the way things are done here. You are too proud. But pride is a very dangerous emotion. And you are…rebellious. That is even more dangerous to our order.”

Jim was getting a very bad feeling. He wanted to step back from this rather menacing Vulcan, but then that would show fear and he dared not do that. He didn’t know enough about where he was to make too many assumptions and if he ever was going to be returned where he belonged, he wanted to be returned alive and in fairly decent shape.

That didn’t mean he intended to allow himself to be used to kill others. He would rather die than allow that. But then again, they could just use his dead body anyway they wanted.

Jim frowned. What about his blood would be some kind of lethal contagion? The only thing different about him was having the blood transfusion with Khan’s blood. But would that make a difference? He didn’t know.

Stonn was watching him closely, hooded eyes, and a calculation glare. Yes, Spock was dangerous, Jim concluded, but this one, more so.

“You have far too much defiance in those eyes, Captain. I think perhaps there is a way to change that.”

His blood ran cold but he tried not to show that, show anything. He had learned a thing or two about not showing emotions from his own lover.

Stonn hit a comm on his shirt. “Come. I think it is time to show the prisoner the booth.”

****

Jim was brought down a long corridor by two Vulcan guards who trailed behind Stonn who led them to the location of the booths.

Stonn opened a door and they all stepped inside.

Jim saw a series of glass enclosed booths with restraints. Fingers of fear trailed up his spine.

“These are Agony Booths,” Stonn explained, as though they were just something completely normal. “I presume you have no such devices where you come from.”

“There are barbaric instruments of torture everywhere,” Jim replied. “But no, nothing like this, that I know of.”

Stonn nodded. “Then you will get to experience them first hand.”

“Spock…”

“Forget about Spock. He is not here and I am in charge at present.” Stonn gestured to the guards holding Jim.

They led him to the nearest unoccupied booth. Jim glanced around and spotted a man in overalls in the closest booth, restrained, his body shaking and his face contorted in pain.

“What did he do?”

“None of your concern.” Stonn opened the door of the booth. “Put him in.”

The Vulcan guards shoved him in the compact booth, locking the restraints over his wrists and around his ankles. His heart thudded hard in chest and he struggled to keep the whimper in his throat from escaping. He would not let this Vulcan break him or show weakness.

They slammed the glass door closed and stood back.

Stonn’s eyes glinted with ominous satisfaction. “You will be much easier to control after this.”

Jim really should learn to keep his mouth shut, he knew that, but he heard himself say, “Want to bet?”

Yeah, stupid, Jim.

Stonn merely shook his head, walked over to the controls and threw a switch.


	9. Starfleet Universe

The old Spock was still in his glass cell talking to Kirk when the young one, young and beardless, came rushing forward into the brig area and over to the door to Kirk’s cell.

He’d told the older Vulcan to leave but he hadn’t. Kirk was used to Vulcans doing whatever the hell they wanted and apparently that wasn’t going to change in any universe.

For a minute Kirk was sure that the young one was going to open the cell door and take his chances like the old one had. But he stopped short, placing his hands on the glass service and glaring inside at himself and the old guy.

Kirk decided there were too many damn Spocks to keep track of and he sat back and wondered what would happen next in this strange supposedly mellow universe.

“What are you doing in there with him?” Young Spock demanded.

“At the moment we are talking.”

“You do not know how infectious he is. He could…”

Old Spock shook his head. “As you can see, I am fine. I am not worried about Jim infecting me.”

“He is not Jim,” Young Spock practically snarled.

“In fact he is. Perhaps not the one you have come to know, but Jim still the same.”

“What do you want?” Kirk asked.

“Jim is in trouble,” the young one said. “I-I feel it. You said your Spock would not harm him. And yet…”

“How do you know he’s in trouble? Are you bonded?”

Kirk stood up then and prowled over to where Spock stood against the glass. He was tempted to put his own hands up there and mimic what Spock was doing with his, but he refrained.

“Not formally,” Spock said, with reluctance. “A preliminary connection exists. We are T’hy’la.”

Kirk frowned. “I don’t know what that is.”

“It is not pertinent to this. You said your Spock would not harm him and yet…”

“I don’t believe Spock would, but that doesn’t mean he’s not in danger,” Kirk said bluntly. “There are many there who would take great satisfaction in harming Captain Kirk.”

“Wouldn’t he protect him?”

Kirk shrugged. “He would me, but he has to know that yours is not me. I’m not sure exactly how Spock would react. I don’t think he would hurt him and would keep him from harm but…” He shrugged again. “Terror must be maintained or the Empire will fall.”

“If he is irreparably harmed, make no mistake, I will tear you apart,” Spock told him through clenched teeth.

Kirk smirked. “I guess there’s a bit of the Empire in you, too.”

“Spock.”

The older Spock had risen from his chair and come to stand by Kirk. Kirk glanced at his wizened face.

“This Jim has no control over what is going on currently in that universe. And we can only hope any damage done to your Jim is not lasting.”

Spock narrowed his eyes at his elder. “I need to find him.”

“Agreed.”

“The sooner the better. I want to make the switch between him and my Jim.”

“Or…”

Kirk and Spock both turned to look at the older Vulcan.

Kirk lifted both eyebrows. “Or?”

“We rescue Jim from the Mirror universe without sending this one back.” 

“Why would we do that?” Spock asked.

“I do not like the idea of sending any Jim back to such a brutal place. To be tortured, killed, maimed.” The elder Vulcan turned to Kirk. “All things you have already faced, have you not?”

Kirk hesitated only a second, but then he nodded. “Sure. What of it?”

“I would like to change your life.”

He snorted. “Good luck, old man.”

“No,” Spock said.

Kirk smirked.

“What is your objection?” the older Spock asked.

“What if we cannot get Jim back without an even exchange? I will not risk losing Jim because of your sense that you must rescue all James Kirks.”

“I sure as hell don’t need rescuing like some damsel in distress.”

“We shall see,” Old Spock said serenely.


	10. Mirror Universe

The scream was torn from him almost against his will.

The feeling of dread that had come over him was so palatable that as Jim stared in horror at the Vulcan about to throw the switch, he seemed to float somewhere above himself, looking down on them, on himself.

Jim had been through unspeakable things before. Torture surely among them. But this…

It felt like a thousand bolts of electricity had been shot through every vein in his body and his torso and limbs lunged uncontrollably against the straps holding him there. There was the metallic taste of blood as Jim realized he’d bitten his tongue.

And a roaring in his ears. Or the room. He didn’t know.

His vision blurred with unshed tears and then he passed out, mercifully.

****

He came to, again, lying on a soft pillowy cloud and he vaguely wondered if this was Heaven.

“Good, you are awake.”

Not a cloud then, Jim thought. He knew that voice. Would know it anywhere.

_Spock_.

Spock’s bearded face loomed above him then and he was reminded, almost painfully, he was not at home with his own, beloved Spock, but this unknown, harsh stranger.

And yet Spock’s hand touched his cheek gently as a cool, wet cloth was placed on his forehead.

“You are all right now,” came Spock’s soft voice.

Jim swallowed. Still tasted the faint taste of his own blood.

“Here, allow me to help you sit up a bit so that you may have water.”

Spock rested his hand on Jim’s back as he lifted him up softly to hold a cup to Jim’s lips.

“You aren’t wearing protective gear,” Jim rasped, then, realizing Spock only wore his uniform.

“I do not need it. Your contagion does not affect me. And do not concern yourself with any of that.”

Jim sipped the cool water and it soothed his throat which was raw from screaming.

“Where am I?”

For he could clearly tell he was no longer on the cell bunk or in the cell at all. It looked like quarters. Rather dark and red-tinged quarters. And he was in the softest bed he thought he’d ever been in.

“In my personal quarters,” Spock told him. “Where you will remain. You are safe here.”

Jim frowned as Spock had him take another sip of the water. “Stonn?”

Spock shook his head. “Do not be concerned. You will not have any contact with him.” Spock brushed his knuckles across Jim’s cheek. “Poor little one. This place, this universe, is not for you.”

Jim tried moistening his lips but his tongue was sore, swollen from the damage he’d done. “The booth?”

“You won’t go back there. Are you hungry? I have created many favored human dishes for you.”

Spock stood and walked over to a table Jim could see was laden with bowls, plates, glasses.

“There is rice, ice cream, potatoes, spaghetti, meats. Whatever you desire. If they are not here, I can have them made here.”

Jim blinked, feeling both surprised and unsure. Spock had not really been unkind to him up to now but he certainly hadn’t been this conciliatory.

“Ice cream?”

Spock nodded. He reached for a bowl and a spoon and brought it over. “I was unsure if you would prefer chocolate, vanilla or strawberry, so I had all three made.”

Jim took the bowl and looked down to see three perfect round scoops. “I don’t get it. Why are you being so nice?”

“I told you, this place is not for you. You are too…good.” Spock looked away. “When I pulled you from the Agony Booth, I touched your mind and…”

“Wait.” Jim stopped the spoon filled with strawberry ice cream halfway to his mouth. “You…you touched my mind? You mean a meld?”

Spock’s gaze met his. “Unintentional. I believe because of our own affinities to those that belong to us in our own universes, the meld formed of its own accord. You have a soft mine and soul.”

Jim grimaced. “Thanks.”

“It is not an insult. Where you come from, you are a hero and admired greatly, but here…” He shook his head. “There are those like the Andorian doctor and Stonn who would do you great harm. Who would use you for wicked and evil purposes. Thus why I protect you now here. The sooner we get you back to your proper universe the better, but in the meantime, you must stay here. In my bed.”

“Uh.”

Spock’s lips quirked. “To rest from your ordeal, little one. I do not plan on ravishing you at this point.”

“At this point?” Jim asked, doubtfully.

“Who knows as time wears on and you can recover. We are very sexually compatible.”

He snorted as he finally placed the strawberry ice cream in his mouth. “You got that from touching my mind?”

“I did see things of an intimate nature, surely, but also from my own experiences with my Kirk.”

“My privacy…”

“As I said, unintentional. But all the more reason you need to be sequestered here, Jim. Most here on this ship would not hesitate to invade you in any and every way they thought necessary. And often for no reason other than to please themselves. Or just to be brutal.”

“I know this is not a nice place, Spock.”

Spock nodded. “And right there is why I worry for your safety. It is far beyond ‘not a nice place’. You cannot imagine. I prefer that you do not.”

“And what about _your_ Jim? It’s okay to have him in a place like this?”

“No. But here with me, I protect him as best I can, now that he is mine. But he is highly independent and fiercely stubborn and shaped by all that he has known. He could not be taken down easily, even without my watching over him. If I could go somewhere where we’d be safe together, I would. But that is not possible, so we watch out for each other.”

“I see.”

“Is it not the same for you and your own Spock to a degree?”

“Yeah, sure. But he’s never had to pull me out of an Agony Booth.”

“How do you feel? Are you in pain?”

“Some. I feel…weak. Drained. My head hurts. My tongue is throbbing from having bit down.” He shook his head. “Have you…?”

“Of course. Not often. More than once though. You get used to it.”

Jim stared down at his bowl of ice cream. “I could never get used to that.”

“I know. Which is why I will ensure you won’t have to. Eat your ice cream. Then rest again.” 


	11. Starfleet Universe

Kirk decided that he was finally getting somewhere in this stupid unknown universe when a red shirt security guard arrived to his cell. Behind him was the old Vulcan, Spock.

“Now this makes sense,” Kirk said.

“Does it?” the old guy asked. He arched his brow in that vaguely insolent way that Spocks did as far as Kirk was concerned.

The security guard walked over to Kirk and put restraints on Kirk’s hands, fastening them in front of him.

“Of course.”

His captors said nothing, but led him out of the cell and then down a corridor.

Kirk remained silent, but he noticed that the old Vulcan was eyeing him.

“Where do you think you’re being led?”

“To my execution.”

“Hardly.”

Kirk didn’t believe him of course. “Where then? I’m guessing that young uptight Spock can’t figure out a way to get me back to where I came from and therefore retrieve the good me or whatever, so he’s decided to dispose of me.” He barked a laugh. “That’s what I would do.”

“You are merely being moved to a more comfortable place than that sterile cell.”

Kirk scoffed. “Right. The booth then?”

“There is no booth here, Jim.”

“Then you have even more painful ways to deal with me?”

“Of course not. You are going to more comfortable quarters, as I said.”

“There’s no way snooty puss is going to let me go to some Ritz Fucking Carlton.”

“I do not know the reference, but you are going to more accommodating quarters.”

“Sure, sure. Just free to come and go as I please.”

Old Spock shook his head. “I did not say that, no. You will have a guard outside the door.”

Kirk eyed the red shirt. “This dude? Don’t make me laugh.”

The guard scowled at him. “Listen, asshole…”

The old guy held up his hand to silence the guard which only made Kirk smirk.

They kept moving down the corridor, but then Kirk suddenly ducked down, kicked at the guard’s legs, which knocked him to the floor.

“Jim!”

Kirk dropped to his knees, wrapped his bound arms around the guard’s neck and began to strangle him.

“Cease!”

Kirk ignored the Vulcan.

Big mistake, he realized. He heard the sigh behind him, and then felt a pinch at his neck.

 _Damn_.

****

Kirk woke with a splitting headache. He moaned and put his hand up to his head.

“You do have an egg sized bump on the back of your head from when you fell.”

Kirk stared at the old Vulcan. “You pinched me.”

“Yes, of course I did.”

“You’re not even sorry.”

“Not in the least. You were in the process of attempted murder.”

Kirk scowled. He was lying on a biobed. “Where am I?”

“The medbay. You are being treated.”

“Experimented on?”

Spock frowned. “I am quite sure that I spoke clearly and succinctly. Perhaps your head was damaged more than I anticipated.”

“Oh, fuck you.” Kirk rolled his eyes and then regretted it. “Damn that hurts.”

“You have a hard head.”

Kirk closed his eyes. “And the guard? Not that I care or anything.”

“He will be fine. Thanks to my intervention.”

“Well.” Kirk couldn’t really think of anything to say to that “How long will I be in here?”

“Overnight for observation. The pinch was nothing. It was the hitting your head that got you.” Spock shook his head. “And of course my young counterpart wants to return you to your original cell.”

“I don’t blame him.”

“Nor do I. I tried to arrange a nicer place for you and this is how you repay me.”

“There’s a word we use in my universe for people like you,” Kirk said.

“Weak? Sucker?”

Kirk snorted. “Deceased.”

Old Spock made a scoffing noise of his own and held up a cup of what smelled like tea for Kirk. “Drink.”

He eyed it suspiciously. He opened his mouth to ask if it was poisoned. Old habits died hard and all that. He closed it. Took a sip of the tea. Made a face.

“It might not be poisonous, but it tastes like shit.”

Spock took back the cup. “This is why you cannot have nice things.”

He walked away then and Kirk closed his eyes again.

Stupid nice universe.


	12. Mirror Universe

When Jim woke, he was not alone in bed. He felt a body pressed intimately against his back. His bare back. No shirt. Though at least he was still wearing pants. Instinctively he knew who it was, but he stiffened immediately as though the person lying in bed with him was Spock, it was not his.

And somehow he knew the Vulcan was awake.

“Uh. Thought you weren’t going to ravish me.”

An outright husky laugh, which surprised Jim.

“I said, I believe, yet. Fear not, you are not ravished yet.”

“Hmm.”

“You are a soft one.”

“Soft?” Jim scoffed. “I’m not soft.”

And in more ways than one, Jim thought. He found himself aroused by this Spock’s presence in bed, but he didn’t feel good about it. Damn body’s response.

“Trust me, little one, you are.”

“Compared to you, yeah.”

“Indeed. And the you from here. And Stonn…and…”

“I get it.”

Jim shuddered when a finger caressed the shell of his ear.

“You have had your hardships. Bad things that you had no control over,” Spock whispered.

“Another of your accidental melds with my mind?” Jim asked, sharply.

“Nay, you consented.”

Jim frowned. He wished he could see Spock but turning around and facing the bearded Vulcan might not be a good idea while they were in bed together.

“How so?”

“I searched through your mind while you slept.”

Jim’s jaw tightened. “And how is it I consented while asleep?”

“Had you not, your mind would have fought me, as it is I slipped in easily.”

“That’s not consent. That’s mind assault.”

“I disagree,” Spock said softly. “Regardless, I did see some of the trauma you have experienced in your universe and I regret the pain it has caused you.”

“It’s nothing,” Jim insisted. “And I imagine your Kirk went through worse.”

“Perhaps, but I do not believe it wise to compare trauma. It is unique to each individual and how they act.”

The finger left his ear and joined others as they moved through Jim’s hair.

“You should…”

“What, little one, what should I do?”

Jim moistened his lips. “I-I don’t know. Just…what are you doing there? With your hand?”

“Massaging your skull.”

He shivered. “Is that all?”

“What more would you like me to do?”

Jim laughed. “Nothing. Behave, I guess.”

Suddenly Spock shifted behind him and Jim found himself spun around and laid down flat on his back with the bearded Vulcan hovering over him, body pressed down against his, lips mere inches from Jim’s.

“I am not in the habit of behaving, little one.”

“I’m about the same height as you.”

Spock’s lips curved. “And so you are. On hand lifted to Jim’s face, fingers caressing his cheek. “Does your Spock cherish you as he ought to?”

“Do you cherish your Jim?”

Spock shook his head. “He does not allow such a thing. He sees it as a weakness which he dares not show.”

“Even to you?”

“Probably especially to me. Our relationship is not the same as the one you experience. But it matters to us.”

His thumb brushed across Jim’s bottom lip driving a shiver through Jim’s whole body.

“You speak about it mattering yet you are pressed against me in bed, both of us clearly…stimulated.” There was no denying he was hard. Spock would be able to feel it, just as he felt Spock’s.

“I may never see him and you may never see yours. And I live in reality, little one. Fidelity is not always cut and dried. You have his DNA and I have Spock’s. What makes us different in each universe does not change our biology.”

“No. But…”

Spock kissed him, hard and demanding. Not at all a soft, romantic kiss, but it was passionate, and Jim found himself responding. He opened his mouth to allow entrance of Spock’s tongue to tangle with his.

He didn’t think his dick could get harder than it already was and yet it did. He gasped when Spock slipped a hand between their bodies and caressed his hardness through the material of his pants. 

Spock’s other hand spread out across Jim’s cheek, his dark eyes boring into Jim’s lighter eyes.

“I want you,” Spock said, roughly.

“I…”

There was a loud rap at the door.

“Captain Spock? You are needed for a moment,” a voice called through the door. One Jim did not recognize.

“I will be right there,” Spock called back.

He leaned his forehead against Jim’s, blowing out slow, but heavy pants.

Then he said, “Bolt the door when I leave. And do not open it for anyone but me.”

“All right.”

“ _Anyone_. Do you understand?”

“Yeah, I get it.”

Spock nodded, kissed him again, and then rolled off Jim and stood. He walked over to where a uniform shirt had been placed on a chair. He pulled it on over his head and then fixed the sash in place.

His fingers touched a button then, on the wall by the bed. There were two. A red and a yellow.

“This button.” He indicated the yellow.

“Yeah?”

“You are to use this should anyone threaten you.”

“Use it?”

Spock nodded. “Listen very carefully Jim. To dispatch an attacker, you press the yellow. But you must do it quickly before they get too close. As they are accessing the door for instance.”

Jim nodded his understanding. “And the red?”

“If there is no other alternative, you use the red to dispatch yourself.”

“Uh. What?”

“You do not want my enemies to capture you, Jim. The red is for us, to end things, but only if absolutely necessary. There is absolutely nothing else to do to save yourself.”

Jim swallowed heavily. “Okay.”

“Bolt the door.”

And Spock was gone.

Jim got up and bolted the door.


	13. Starfleet Universe

Kirk opened his eyes and cursed himself a fool for having fallen asleep. He still occupied a bed in the medbay and the area around him was barely lit and quiet, yet he knew he was not alone. The hair on the back of his neck prickled, and he went to sit up, then realized he was restrained to the bed.

Young Spock appeared over him.

“You,” Kirk said. “I didn’t expect to see you.”

“No doubt. You will be transferred back to your cell soon.”

“I see.” He tugged a little at his restraints.

“A necessary precaution.”

“Oh this?” Kirk smirked. “This I’m used to. Perhaps your universe isn’t so different than mine after all.”

“In this universe when you attack a security guard unprovoked there are consequences,” Spock replied. 

“Hmm.” Kirk closed his eyes.

“My captain…”

He opened them again, peering at this soft, seemingly sweet version of Spock. But Kirk had been fooled before by sheep in wolf’s clothing, very much to his detriment. 

“I’m afraid I can offer you no assurances on that score. You’re being very brave. Aren’t you afraid I’ll infect you?”

Spock shook his head. “Tests were done and whatever causes you to harm Vulcans does not appear to apply to me or to my elder.”

“How fortunate.”

“You’re applying sarcasm.”

“Am I? You think it isn’t possible for me to be glad that I don’t cause harm to a couple of Spocks?” Kirk shook his head. “Where I come from, you’re my lover. And the closet thing I have to a friend.”

“Still. You cannot be trusted.”

“I do not deny that,” Kirk replied. “I can’t. Nevertheless, I still don’t wish you harm. Nor any of the Vulcans I came in contact with. My conflict is not with any of you.”

“And yet when shown kindness you react with violence.” Spock shook his head. “You will never change. Which is why you will be returned to the brig where you can be guarded until we can return you to your universe.”

Kirk smiled slightly. “I never asked for your kindness. Or anyone’s.”

“Quite true.”

Spock left then, and Kirk was glad. He found himself uncomfortable about that version of Spock. He had nothing in common with him and he wasn’t nearly as understanding as the old one.

Bored, Kirk found himself falling asleep again, but an undetermined amount of time later, he was awakened by armed security guards who escorted him back to a cold, isolated cell in the brig. He noted the door was double locked.

It was a slightly different one than the one he was provided before, Kirk realized, with no chairs in this one. Only a tiny bed and a little room with a toilet. 

He sat on the floor and braced his back against the bed, facing out to the window of the cell, watching and waiting.

He anticipated that the old Spock would come to see him eventually, and he was not wrong, for about an hour after he’d been placed back in his cell, the old Vulcan appeared.

Spock, this one, grimaced when he spotted Kirk sitting on the floor, legs crossed in front of him. He said something to the guard who accompanied him, low enough Kirk was unable to hear him, and then Kirk could see that the guard argued with him.

The old guy won out though, which was no surprise to Kirk. His experience with Spocks was that they always won in the end.

He wasn’t at all surprised when Old Spock entered his cell and the guard disappeared.

“This is not acceptable.”

Kirk leaned his head back and eyed him. “What’s that, old man?”

“Your current accommodations.”

“Pretty sure I got just what Spock thinks is coming to me.”

“Yes,” he admitted. “But I mean to change that.”

“You know…” Kirk shook his head. 

“What?”

“Just…I don’t need a savior, you know. I’m not some lost soul you can save. Or even should.”

Spock pursed his lips. “Is that so?”

Before Kirk could reply, the guard returned, carrying two chairs. Not exactly comfortable looking, but they were chairs.

He brought them into the cell with a look of definite distain aimed at Kirk.

“If you want me to stay in here with you, Ambassador—”

“That is quite all right. I can manage.”

The guard looked at Kirk so he winked at him. Then the guard took a step toward Kirk but after Spock put out a hand to stop him, he huffed out a breath, and then left the cell.

Spock positioned himself in one of the chairs and gestured to the other one. “Sit?’

“I’m fine where I am. I figure you guys in this universe like looking down on me.”

“You are a pill, are you not?”

Kirk laughed at that. He couldn’t help it. “Yeah, I suppose I am.”

“I am well aware that you have suffered many atrocities that made you the way you are.”

“Yeah? I’m pretty sure there are plenty of people from this universe who experienced atrocities and they didn’t become monsters.”

Spock scoffed. “You are not a monster.”

“No?”

“Hardly. Misguided, certainly. But you can change.”

“Not according to your young commander. I’m bad to the bone.” Kirk grinned.

“He comes from a heightened pace of fear for his own Jim.”

“Which you don’t share?”

“It is not that I am not concerned for him. But I have the experience that every Spock will watch out for every Jim Kirk.”

“Or you could be wrong.”

The old man arched a brow. “You think the one from where you come from would not?”

Kirk exhaled and then shook his head. “No. He would. But I’m pretty sure he’d be Kirk’s only ally there. And that’s where it will go really wrong.”

Spock nodded. “And that is why I am determined to retrieve him from that universe without sacrificing you.” 


	14. Mirror Universe

Hours seemed to pass and Jim just remained locked in Spock’s quarters. Which only made his anxiety ratchet up. Had Spock been captured or killed by his enemies? And if so, what was that going to mean for him? Or his chances for surviving and making it back to his universe and his Spock?

Jim was not normally a praying man but he found himself praying that Spock would return safe and sound. He wasn’t entirely sure he was exactly safe with this version of Spock, but he surely seemed better than any of the others he had come across so far. He hadn’t even met this universe’s version of McCoy. And now that he thought about it, he hadn’t thought to ask this Spock about Bones.

Did he want to know?

The only doctor he had seen was the Andorian one. And Jim sure didn’t want to see him again.

This was driving him insane. Would someone burst through the locked door to finish Jim off? Or worse? Torture him again in the Agony Booth? Or-or maybe worse. He’d been through a lot, sure, but this universe…

It would break him. He knew that. He knew enough about himself to only imagine what his counterpart from this universe must be like to endure all this. Jim wouldn’t come back from this, surely.

His gaze flew to the buttons Spock had pointed out before he left. Yellow for others, Red for himself. Should it be necessary. And it would, right? Wasn’t that why Spock had not returned?

Jim stepped close to the ordinary looking buttons. He hovered his index finger over the yellow and then the red.

_Spock._

He didn’t want to die. Not here. Not like this. He and Spock had just really found each other. He was happier than he had ever been. Because of Spock.

Who surely had to be working frankly to get Jim back.

But trying to use whatever tentative bond he had with Spock… _T’hy’la_ whispered…didn’t seem to work to reach his Spock, his universe. Jim had no experience with such things and he didn’t even know if he was trying in the correct way. Or if that would be something that had to wait for their formal bond or if it ever would be possible. Why hadn’t he asked Spock more questions about _any_ of it?

Because Jim thought he had time. What a fool he’d been.

The barest sound outside the quarter’s door had the hair on the back of his neck prickle. His finger moved to the yellow button. His heart was pounding so hard it felt like it might burst through his chest. The door swished open and Jim moved the pad of his finger to the button.

“I’d rather you didn’t.”

“Spock!”

The door closed again and the Spock from this universe latched it closed again.

Jim frowned. “How did you get it open if it’s bolted from inside?”

Spock gave him an amused look. “Not from me. It is my door. You look sickly. Are you all right?”

“Just…” Jim sat down. “I’ve been on high alert for hours. Wondering where you were. When they’d come from me. I’m not cut out for this.”

“You have never been on a dangerous mission where you did not know if you would make it?” Spock wondered.

“Yeah, of course. But my nerves are raw. I…Glad you’re alive.”

Spock produced a cup with some spicy smelling tea. “Drink.”

Jim eyed it. “Not trying to poison me, are you?”

“Had I intended to kill you, Captain Kirk, you would be dead.”

Jim grimaced. “You have a point.”

“Drink.”

Jim took a small sip, recognized it as a tea his own Spock drank, and took another. “Where have you been?”

“Ship’s business. I am acting Captain at this point until our Captain returns.” Spock paused. “If.”

“You could sound a little more broken up about that prospect.”

“Should I?” Spock pulled over a chair, sat down, hiking his boot up to rest on the bed. They looked vaguely like pirate boots. Like in the old movies. Not particularly comfortable if you asked Jim.

“You don’t even want to pretend you care about him?”

Spock shook his head. “My feelings toward him are none of your concern. However, of course I care. You are quite fascinating but you are also a wimp.”

“Hey!”

Spock shrugged.

Jim wasn’t sure it wasn’t true. He never thought of himself as one before. But… 

“McCoy!”

Up went the eyebrow. “What about him?”

“I haven’t seen him. Is it because of whatever I have that’s causing Humans to die that you’ve kept him away?”

Spock lowered his boot and leaned forward, resting his elbows on both knees. “Leonard McCoy is not on this ship.”

“No? Where is he?”

“As far away from my James as he can possibly be.”

Jim frowned. “Why?”

“You are mistaken if you think all things are even close to the same here. McCoy is a spineless cretin who betrayed him and had him brutally tortured. He is in a prison where he belongs and if he ever gets out, he will die at my hand.”

Jim felt a little queasy but nodded. “Well, at least I now know you really do care about him. Betrayed and tortured?”

Spock narrowed his eyes and Jim decided it was maybe time to drop it.

Then Spock stood suddenly, looming down over Jim in a not exactly threatening way but…

“Where were we?’

“What?”

“Before I left. Didn’t I have you squirming underneath me, begging me to take you?”

“Begging you to…” Jim scoffed. “No. That wasn’t it at all.”

Spock smirked. It was an odd thing to see on a Vulcan. But this was not one he had ever dealt with and as Spock backed him up toward the bed, Jim decided that, why yes, it was threatening.

Before he could do anything to react, Jim found himself splayed out on the bed, knocked to the mattress, face up, and this threatening bearded Spock pouncing on him. The long fingers of his hand moved toward Jim’s face.

Jim desperately moved away and raised his knee roughly between Spock’s legs. The Vulcan growled in pain.

“Stop,” Jim said, struggling to get away. “Stop it. Look, you’re sexy, okay, and maybe a long time ago I would have been okay with being ravished by you—”

Spock ceased trying to hold Jim down and looked angrily at him. “And now?”

“There’s another version of you, in my universe, that I’m deeply, irrevocably in love with. And I would never ever hurt him intentionally. Not this way. Not any way. If you force me, then it’s rape, and that’s your choice, but I’m asking you, don’t put either of us in that place.” Jim took a deep breath. “Right now you’re as close as I have here to a friend and ally. And I’m as close as you have to your captain, your lover. And I’m asking you not to betray him. Don’t become another McCoy. Someone he thought in this miserable place he could trust, only to find he was wrong. Don’t be that other person, Spock. Don’t.”

Those dark eyes narrowed again, becoming like hard obsidian. But he moved off Jim, and off the bed, and stood, turning away.

“Very well, Captain Kirk. You have won this battle between us. For now.”

Jim didn’t allow himself to feel relieved. Not too much. Because he was really no better off than before. Stuck in a universe he didn’t understand, desperate to get home.


End file.
